First off, sorry if this blog is kinda all over the place. It's really late, I can't sleep, and I have so many thoughts going on in my head right now but I'll try and keep them to one topic.
So just a follow up on the whole not trusting people, I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought. I think twice before I say anything to anyone now and it feels good not to be stressed about getting hurt.
I keep getting told I need to stop trying to make others feel better so much and focus on my own problems and trying to make myself feel better. This is ending up to be quite a challenge for me. I'm not saying that because I see myself as an amazing miracle worker or a Mother Theresa twin, I just like helping people and if I make someone that's down feel a tiny bit better, well then, it's all worth it. But then again, helping people with all their problems is really frustrating. I genuinely try to give people good advice but I end up feeling stupid because I can't take it myself. Oh well, as much as people say I should only focus on myself, it probably won't happen but maybe I'll try to start taking my own advice. Who knows, it might actually work.
I said something to someone who will remain annonymous tonight that made me realize I'm starting to dislike the person that I've become more and more. I'm to the point where I could, honestly, care less about anything. That seems so contradictory from what I just said about helping people haha. I should say I could care less about anything that happens to me. I realize I don't have that much respect for myself anymore but that's another thing I don't really care about. I really wish I could shake this.
Anyway, I think this is where I will end but, really, if anyone needs my help in any way I'm always willing to lend a hand.
-Bridgett
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