I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive, so I'm gonna start over tonight beginning with you and I.

First off, sorry if this blog is kinda all over the place. It's really late, I can't sleep, and I have so many thoughts going on in my head right now but I'll try and keep them to one topic.
So just a follow up on the whole not trusting people, I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought. I think twice before I say anything to anyone now and it feels good not to be stressed about getting hurt.
I keep getting told I need to stop trying to make others feel better so much and focus on my own problems and trying to make myself feel better. This is ending up to be quite a challenge for me. I'm not saying that because I see myself as an amazing miracle worker or a Mother Theresa twin, I just like helping people and if I make someone that's down feel a tiny bit better, well then, it's all worth it. But then again, helping people with all their problems is really frustrating. I genuinely try to give people good advice but I end up feeling stupid because I can't take it myself. Oh well, as much as people say I should only focus on myself, it probably won't happen but maybe I'll try to start taking my own advice. Who knows, it might actually work.
I said something to someone who will remain annonymous tonight that made me realize I'm starting to dislike the person that I've become more and more. I'm to the point where I could, honestly, care less about anything. That seems so contradictory from what I just said about helping people haha. I should say I could care less about anything that happens to me. I realize I don't have that much respect for myself anymore but that's another thing I don't really care about. I really wish I could shake this.
Anyway, I think this is where I will end but, really, if anyone needs my help in any way I'm always willing to lend a hand.
-Bridgett

So I've decided I don't believe in coincidences anymore. It really seems like everything is linked together and/or everything happens for a reason. People come into our lives and we may not even realize the affect they have on us. This is just my opinion, but there are some people I think about meeting and I probably would have been okay and just the same had I not met them and there are others that I couldn't imagine my life without. It probably sounds stupid seeing as a lot of friendships don't last after high school but I can name a handful of people who have shaped me to be the way I am now. For better or for worse.

I've also decided I don't really believe in ghosts anymore. Haha I don't know why I wanted to put that in here...yep.

So we started practice and it feels so good to get back in shape. Although I'm sore as hell, I like not feeling as lazy as I did in July. I was so happy because Greg came to practice today. I missed him soo much. I decided I'm probably going to order a new competition uniform because mine's too small. Apparently the company we order from goes out of their way to protect themselves from having to fix uniforms for free. It doesn't really bother me though, I pretty much knew this would happen. I might keep my skirt though. It's probably just my imagination thinking that it doesn't fit since the top is so small. The top is only like $88 so that's not that bad.

Little Avery is home now. It's weird to think he's almost a month old! I'm really happy that they all get to be home together again.

So, I'm not going to trust people so much anymore. I know I always say that and it never fails, I end up getting stabbed in the back in some way or another, but this time I'm really going to try hard to stick to it.

Well, that's all for now.
-Bridgett

Try saying that five times fast!

So today:
I feel okay. I mean, I don't feel bad so that's good, right? Even though I'm in heaps of trouble, I feel okay haha.

I hung out with Christine, Cameron, Jed, Dylan, Carlos, Sean, and Ezra last night. We went to Cameron's house, Panda, the gas station to get Cameron a slurpee, and then back to Cameron's house. It was really fun. I love hanging out with all of them. They are the neatest people and I'm really grateful they're all my friends.

Practice starts again tomorrow and I'm pretty excited because it's like the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. Also, I miss all of my cheer girls. I'm not lying when I say we're all a big family. I'm really excited for football games but not so excited for volleyball just because volleyball lasts for like five hours. Hopefully we can get the whole uniform thing straightened out.

My Grandparents are coming over soon so I guess this is where I will end. Thanks for reading.

-Bridgett